Life is a Double-Edged Blade, in a Good Way
Journal Entry: Sun Oct 23, 2005, 10:42 PM
One of my closer friends is leaving for Georgia in a few days and I'm probably not going to be living where I am when he comes back (He's leaving for two years). It's kinda a funny feeling, knowing that you probably won't actually see a person again. Well, I guess with that I only have one close friend left in my home town and I might just stick around till he goes on his merry way (unless you take for friggin ever G!).
And the fact that we're the only ones left out of our friends to be here kind of bothers me in itself. Why have I taken so long? Shouldn't I have a career by now? I guess I've been tossing those questions around for a few years. I mean I really, REALLY don't intend on being here forever. Yet I'm not really striving to move on. It's like I'm grasping at my friends for some kind of support, like a kid grasping a thier security blanket. As they leave, I'm being forced to give up that security blanket piece by piece. It may turn out to be a good thing that my security blanket is dissapearing, though, as it may well force me to actually try and get out there on my own. It's just hard to give up people that you're so close to, y'know.
So at the end I'm a tiny bit insecure about all my friends going off to on thier
respective paths to glory (right, glory), but I'm also kind of anxious about it. Like, what now? kinda questions, but in that unsure, upbeat way. Of course, I could be still sitting here in the exact same place for the next 10 years, but I'm hoping that things go much better than that.